to hit 9 posts this year.
yes, as the title implies, i'm blogging to hit my target for the o-nine year.
YES, i'm faking. i'm blogging as i'm trying to escape from the two essays which i have to submit tomorrow. cant understand one of my superv, who rejects typed essays, as quoting m, 'u need to practise writing for tripos'. oh my god, the last tripos memories are still clearly (and just recently) imprinted in my cortex - and u are telling me to practise for my next tripos - yeah, like we are all looking forward to it.
end of wk2 - and it felt like AGES since i'm back here. and mind you, up the bloody hill. living uphill has its pros and cons. like living with a bunch of lovely tithallers, though last night, i was too sianz to join in the highly enthusiastic ring of fire game in my corridor. still, nice seeing people whom i can strike decent conversations with every time, quoting one of my corridor mates, i come back to my room with a traumatised look on my face. trauma from the precarious turn on the bike into wychfield, and prob, 4 out of 5 wkdays (emphasising wkdays, just in case u dont know me well enough to know that i'm blessed with sat lectures, yes, u arent reading the wrong word, it screams SATURDAY in short form), back from a betw 4-6hour practical session in which everything that can possibly go wrong, actually did go wrong!
woots, it's 2 WEEKS already. how i wish i can go, it's 2 WEEKS more to the xmas break! think xmas bop and staring out of my window seat (in my room, NOT on the plane).
2 essays, like anne said just, it's not that hard. but i said, the hardest bit is to START writing it. haix haix haix!
yes, there's TRINITY (not hall not hall) college formal tomorrow to look forward to - there's pre-drinks, woots! and drinks provided. excited to meet the follow shanghai-trip peeps, and let's reminisce the crazy and a-bit-pai-seh-to-talk-about days in shanghai.
love u essays! ditto that for sleep, just for this, it's not puppy love, but hippopotamus love.
incoherent shit, shameless!
Hello from SG!
I am back at home so finally! I must keep emphasising this - i'm back in SG!
Fine, 5 weeks ago, I was back in SG - however, i spent most of my waking time in a school, facebking for the front bit of it and settling down to pia-ing for the last week.
I still feel highly exhausted from my one-month shanghai experience which I cannot decide if I actually enjoyed the whole of it.
My job as a project administrator is not nice. Really not nice, quoting fellow team member, 'it sucks'. and I am not paid which really mattered after some time. yes, no sense of gratification. like, during the closing ceremony, when students went up to hug the rest of the team for being such awesome inspirational teachers, I stood there - feeling pretty lonely and rubbish.
I do not know what else to blog about. I thought this blog post will conclude my year as a 'FRESHER'!
I had a blasting year - I really enjoyed my first year at uni! I did many things which I had never done before: living abroad on my own, making friends with ang mohs, cooking porridge, navigating in foreign lands, organising an international forum, running a summer camp, clubbing, mugging so hard, traveling, etc.
this post is so bland - shall blog again when i feel more wordy in future.
why am i blogging?
because i am refusing to pack.
packing sucks. i came back to my room at 5-ish pm (after shopping), aiming to start packing. and what did i do since then:
1) had microwaved dinner + feel good cloudy lemon
2) facebk-ed*
3) napped
4) received a call from friend and i felt really zombified then; did not really know what i was talking on the phone
5) went to get camera cable from friend
6) came back to my room, with SHEER determination, opened up my boxes
7) went to wetherspoon to get a drink
8) talked to some friends back at college on dogs, penis jokes, random stuff really
9) came back here ... and * ... and it's 0115am
AND I AM STILL REFUSING TO PACK!
this will be my third time packing this acad year and it is such a chore. i keep bringing more and more stuff back to the uk. and after tripos, i went on various shopping sprees which = buying more and more stuff. i must start throwing things away OR else my room up at wyncfield which is much smaller will be choked full of stuff. i cant bring much stuff home as i am highly anticipating myself to buy more things from paris and spain (zara and mango zara and mango zara and mango).
shopping with a debit card is ridiculously reckless. because the transaction is cashless; it feels as though i'm not spending anyth. and the receipt - just ends up in the bin. making the only piece of evidence 'documenting' the sinful act being that wonderful piece of sartorial purchase.
when i get back to SG, I BETTER STOP SHOPPING. so that when i go to shanghai (for a freaking long month!), i will feel as though i have not shopped for ages and can rightfully shop!
maywk has been pretty all right so far. THOUGH i should really have gone for a proper ball. the wkend was gr8, jam packed with activities. my plan for the rest of the day:
1) finish packing so that i can sleep in
2) go to sainsbury to buy packeted kleenex for paris&spain trip
3) exchange pounds into euros
4) come back here to move boxes into storage roooooom (hate it hate it hate it!)
5) have lunch in hall
6) pack stuff for jun event as need to vacate college
7) go for natsci talk thingy
8) go up hill to visit wyncfield (tentative)
9) doss around ... till 8 pm for jun event.
oh dear there's still laundry to do! SIANZ ARH!
invent me a packing machine!
About my day
Today (or rather, 11 march, UK time) was such an eventful day.
It was hard squeezing thinking moments into the multiple stressful moments of the day. but somehow, i felt a million thoughts running through my brain when i was running up and down the escalators of the various tube stations.
i feel that for all my life - i have gotten what i have worked towards. i never actually met with a real awful incident till today. as i was standing alone in london - it was so easy to give up as i was losing sight of the big picture. many times in the past weeks, i kept having to reassure myself of what i was working towards. till now, i'm still figuring it out.
lent term has changed me a lot. it made me more ambitious. it made me know how selfish individuals can be. it made me realize how important friends are. it made me know how committed some people can be. it made me re-think about my life. about what i have always been working towards. it made me realise that life is not as simple as it is.
my last post, i was ranting about how normal i want my life to be. i wonder if i would be satisfied with just a 7 to 4 pm job as a normal school teacher. many moments, again, i was losing sight of the big picture. all my life, i have been working towards something - or at least, i think i'm working towards something. so what do i want with my life?
a big house, money, vacations, my long-coveted purple sabrina coach bag. or people who really care about me and whom I really care about. it's so hard to try to balance between wanting normality in my life (like a family with a tv in the house) and satisfying this innate ambition and competitiveness within me.
i keep finding all sorts of justifications for the kind of life i lead. i should stop complaining about it as this is the life i choose. i may start regretting it like a few years down the road - when people who used to care for me, give up on trying to convince me to take a break.
but i wonder if this sacrifice is worth it. this rambling would go on - as it reflects the utter mess my mind is engulfed in.
i need more perspective in my life. i do not want to be reduced to one of those portfolio-chasers. but i'm afraid i would start regretting a few years down the road for not working hard enough now. the fact that i seldom make mistakes in my life - make me more worried about making mistakes. i always read that extra page in the textbk to make sure that i'm not losing out. i always go that extra mile to help someone because i do not want to feel bad about not helping that person for that extra mile. i always pick up the extra task because i know that someone has to do it and i can be the one.
like two days ago, when my calculator dropped into the toilet bowl (during a frantic rush to get to my math supervision), that's life isnt it? again, when i sat down on the floor in the train just now, i was losing sight of everything in life.
but then, there's really nothing much i can do about a lot of things at the moment. escaping from responsibilities is not something i would do. taking a rest is not something i can do. as i told many people today who told me to take a break, some times, it isnt a matter of choice. but thinking of which, it was a choice that i made in the very first place that led to the spate of incidents today.
but speaking of which, today isnt too bad. i'm back in my room typing this entry at least. i will spend more time with my family once i'm back home. to make up for all the lost time here.
thanks for reading this entry. it does not seem to make sense. but thanks anyway.
my first post of the year! how exciting!
it's past 3 am and i'm STILL UP. oh man, screwy melatonin levels probably.
oh well, oh well, oh well. i kind of lost most of my linguistic skills. when u are a natsci (=science geek), u dont exactly have to possess very good english to get all the bloody points on for instance, the cardiovascular system, down onto paper.
some times, i wonder if all this rubbish is worth it. as all i want, emphasizing for the umpteen times, is a very normal life. Give me a 9 to 5 job, give me cable subscription and let me go on holiday to some nice exotic country once a year - that will give me happiness.
i dont know how to comment on the current state of my life. no, hmmm, there's a sort of renewed definition of a life here. life here, in many other contexts, maybe deemed as an empty subset of a normal life. oh damn it, a normal life is what i want. and i'm getting exponentially incoherent.
all i need is a good book to curl up in bed with. a damn good book - something that will make me cry buckets as i need something human to make me feel normal. and of course, with a cup of hot milo next to me. milo provides me with immense comfort and calories - both equally infinite.
to do some justice to my current life, i guess i do enjoy bits of it. like wandering into sainsbury after a horrible prac (which often makes me feel worthless and tipping on the edge of depression). talking to laura and anne (thanks for always being here at tithall with me). waking up in the morning, and making myself a big breakfast which keeps me going on a prolonged adrenaline cascade for the whole day. oh yeah, those queasy moments staring out of my window, with earplugs, hearing and thinking of nothing. what else, solving that darn math question? i cant be bothered some times, really.
finally
it's the final post of the year! 2008 has been an eventful year. an annual affair! i shall present the lists, the top-ten lists, which nicely sum up my year of 2-0-0-8!
List of movies which you should watch (in a random order)
thanks to my dad for subscribing cable, a380 and the retainment of my ez-link card, i watched many many many movies this year. bye bye to dramas which are simply too time-consuming and draggy. hello to the new movie-buff here!
1. 27 dresses - eye candy and eye-catching dresses
2. Australia - beef cake Hugh Jackman and his body
3. Dreamgirls - great music and singing by everyone on the cast
4. Chronicles of Narnia 2 - eye candy (erps, i
cant remember what the story line was exactly)
5. The Dark Knight - needless to say!
6. Journey to the Centre of the Earth - i kept screaming in the movie!
7. Final Fantasy 4 - watch for the gore and blood!
8. Mamma Mia - great great music!
9. Pride and Glory - watch out for all the twists in the plot. read the synopsis beforehand!
10. Lakehouse - it's a hollywood remake of a korean movie about a letterbox
List of my sources of estascy for the year
1. my job as a relief teacher at xmss
2. NO MUGGING FOR THE FIRST 9 MONTHS of the YEAR
3. my a level results
4. receiving a sship to study in the UK
5. shopping spree at HK with friends
6. college bops (esp the xmas one)
7. beijing trip (the shopping moments)
8. my winter break back here on sunnyisland
9. the TV
10. sainsbury
List of most-coveted items
1. iPhone
2. coach's leather large sabrina (purple)
3. salvatore ferragamo's varina ballet flat
4. hermes' shoulder birkin
5. chanel 2.55 (silver)
6. louis vuitton's "speedy" by marc jacobs
7. burberry's trench coat
8. 1 million extra krisflyer miles
9. 1 million extra nectar points
10. license to pon tripos
This list is totally for fun. If you feel rich enough to make me real happy on my birthday, please take note of the colours indicated!
I predicted at the end of 2007 that 2008 would be a blast. yes, it was a BLAST. right now, i'm looking into my invisible (and invincible) crystal ball, wow, it says 2009 would be a blast-ier year! sizzingly fun-ner with more mugging, more partying, more tv, more movies, more shopping and a lot more of everything else!
about being here at camb
5 things that i like about being here
- i'm sponsored.
- some stuff that i am mugging now are pretty interesting.
- i dont sweat.
- the fruits are sweet and nice.
- i get to fly a380 and watch movies.
5 things that i hate about being here
- my room.
- the weather.
- my timetable.
- the price.
- the food (it's making me fatter)
being here at camb is not as ideal as i thought it would be. yes, pretty scenery, pretty colleges and pretty river. but no, work, work and noise. i'm looking forward to returning to sunnyisland.
